In which of the following cases should a writer avoid the YOU attitude in a message?

An aphorism ascribed to former West German chancellor Willy Brandt says: “You may buy from me in your own language, but sell to me in mine." This saying encapsulates a central principle in communication—the seller must put himself in the shoes of the buyer; the writer must see through the reader’s eyes. In communication studies, this is known as the you-attitude.

In elementary terms, the you-approach involves the use of pronouns that do not project the writer, but focus on the reader. Avoid first person pronouns such as I, we and our; prefer the second person, and use you and your liberally.

In a broader sense, the term you-attitude signifies a style of writing in which the communication is reader-centred. The writer has these questions in mind: Who are my readers? How did this transaction begin? What do they expect to gain from it? In other words, what’s in it for them? What questions will they want to raise? Audience awareness, as it is called, is one of the keys to successful communication.

Further refining the definition of the you-attitude, we can look at the tone conveyed by the language used, and at the way the content is presented. A sentence such as “We are pleased to offer you a 10% discount on cash purchases" has a patronising tone, and the readers are unmoved. Rouse their interest by rewriting the sentence: “You can get a 10% discount on cash purchases." Here is another example. We-approach: “We wish to inform you that we have despatched your new worktable today." You-approach: “You will receive your new worktable tomorrow."

The you-attitude recognizes that communication takes place between real persons, not between robots. The language, therefore, is personal, simple and direct. It is free from highfalutin clichés. It restricts the use of the passive voice which tends to distance the reader from the writer.

The first question that a reader might ask on receiving your message will be “What’s in it for me?" The writers should, therefore, point to the benefit that the reader gets from acting upon the message. “Reader benefit" is a widely used, though inelegant, term in discussions of communication. Even when there is no visible benefit, the message can show interest in and concern for the reader’s needs. Instead of “We are pleased to inform you that we have installed an ATM at the airport", you write: “You can now access our ATM services even while travelling."

Next to language, the content of the message has to be tailored to the reader. Here are some steps you can take.

Let the readers connect with the message by linking it to previous correspondence; give them a reference point to know the context.

Many writers dwell elaborately on the product, or on their service, or on themselves. Instead, you can appeal to the readers’ self-interest and clearly show how they will benefit.

Anticipate questions that the readers are likely to have, and provide clear answers.

Do not write anything that can hurt your reader’s ego. Don’t act bossy, using phrases such as “You must . . ." or using imperatives such as “Read our leaflet carefully. . ." The readers will be offended if you write “You failed to . . ." or “You have made a mistake . . ."

At some point, you may have to write a letter with negative content or with bad news. Frame your sentences in such a way that they hurt least. If possible, preface bad news with positive words. If the reader has made a mistake, don’t sound accusatory. Avoid using phrases such as “You complain that", “you claim that", and “you ignored". Avoid “you" when you have to criticize the reader.

Don’t sound condescending when pointing out any error on the part of the reader. As you begin writing next time, remember the reader at the other end.

VR Narayanaswami is a former professor of English, and has written several books and articles on the usage of the language. He looks at the peculiarities of business and popular English usage in his fortnightly column

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You can find a few post on Writing with YOU attitude on this blog, if you search. However, learning the techniques of writing with YOU attitude is so valuable, I am dedicating this page to a collection of past YOU attitude tips and examples.

Four essential rules for writing with YOU attitude

1. Avoid starting your memos or letters or peer reviews with “I” or “We.”

2. Avoid “you” when it criticizes the reader. The best way to do this – is to take the reader out of the sentence. For example:

Incorrect: Your assignment is overdo and you will loose ten points.

Correct:  Overdue assignments are penalized ten points.

3. The You-Attitude avoids condescension by eliminating unnecessary imperatives (commands).You can see examples of this error below.

4. Use the pronoun “you” in the introductionand the conclusion only to help build goodwill and make a positive impression on the reader, but avoid the pronouns ‘you’ and ‘your’  in the body.

     Following these four rules of YOU will improve professional writing skills immensely

This is a good time to return to past assignments and practice by self-editing with an eye for improving YOU attitude

Examples for correcting YOU techniques:

In the introduction or first paragraph of a memo, email, letter:

INCORRECT: I have completed my review of your first draft of your report on The Customer Experience at the Richmond Olympic Experience Museum. My overall impressions are included below, within the peer review guide designed for this assignment. Please let me know if you have any questions or require clarifications to anything noted below. Bullet points include topics that were looked for when reviewing your report. Notes and additional thoughts for each section included below these points.

REWRITE with YOU attitude: Your peer review for ‘The Customer Experience at the Richmond Olympic Experience Museum’ is completed and includes overall impressions and notes for each section of the Report. Your questions are welcome.

You Attitude requires that you avoid imperative verbs and the word ‘you’ and ‘your’ in the bodyof the document. 

 For example:

 Incorrect: “Centralize on your reader’s goals and what they want to know.”

 Rewrite:  Making sure the reader’s goals come first is important.

More examples:

 Incorrect:  “Your reader is a distinguished academic Professor. When writing your email consider the voice and tone of your audience. In this scenario it essential to write with a professional tone and make sure your grammar and spelling are correct.”

Rewrite: When writing to a professor, being considerate and writing with a professional tone and correct grammar are important.

 Begin practicing the YOU attitude in all your writing, especially peer reviews. 

 For example:

 Incorrect: I have read over your memo to Evan Crisp which provides thoughtful recommendations on how to write with the YOU attitude.  Overall your memo is well written, I can, however, help you with your writing by offering some insights:

Rewrite: Your memo to Evan crisp is well written, however some tips on how to write with YOU attitude will improve your communications.

In the Bodyof your work – Focus on taking out the ‘people’ and the ‘you’s’ and imperative verbs.

For example: 

Incorrect: Emphasize reader benefit by highlighting how the professor will be positively affected. Instead of focusing on your own benefits of enrolling in the professor’s class, express how the they will benefit from having you as a student in their class. Rather than “I need to take three credits to graduate,” use a positive You Attitude, for example, “I am a senior student eager to contribute positively to this class.”

 Rewrite: Emphasizing benefits and positive outcomes for the reader will assist in receiving a positive response. For example: “assignments will be of a high standard and submitted on time.”

Take out the ‘people’ – for example:

 Incorrect: “To elicit effective and open communication in writing to a professor, writers might consider the professor’s point of view, rather than the reader’s own aims. By showing an understanding or the awareness to care about the professor’s experiences (i.e. busy start of semester, full class, likely lots of emails), readers can elicit a more positive response, which goes a long way, especially when asking for something!

Rewrite: Considering the reader’s point of view and needs rather than the writer’s aims, will help ensure a more positive response – especially when making a request. For example, professors are busy, have full classes, and likely many emails.

Here is a good example of what happens when you replace the imperative verbs:

Incorrect: Avoid using a condescending or insulting tone. Reduce the number of “you” words, as it may sound insulting and demanding to the reader. Avoid telling the reader what to do, and instead politely explain your situation and request to be enrolled. Do not forget to thank them for their time and effort.

Rewrite:  Avoiding the use of condescension and an insulting tone can be achieved by reducing the number of ‘you’ words. Avoiding imperative verbs will create a polite tone, as well as remembering to say thank you.

Incorrect:   The objective for this assignment was demonstrating a “you” attitude in your writing for Evan Crisp. The main goal of “you” attitude is to help your reader with their goals and maintain positivity for the reader.  I think this goal could have been better utilized in your email.  I think this could have been done by including a sentence on how Evan will achieve his goal by following your advice.  You did a great job keeping negativity outside of your email, and only focusing on positive comments.  You didn’t miss out on any of the points in Evan’s email that needed corrections. I think that your email could have been longer and instead of only correcting him you could have given him some advice on his writing in a more general way.

Rewrite:  The objective for this assignment is to demonstrate ‘YOU Attitude’; the main goal being to assist the reader with a focus on positiveness. Including a sentence on how Evan can achieve his goal by using this technique will be helpful. The email focuses on positive comments, which is great, and all of the points needing correction are covered. The email could be bit longer and include more general advice.

Which of the following should you avoid when you are writing a message for mobile devices quizlet?

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What does you