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Forgiveness Defined
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness
of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability. Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender,
experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life. While early research focused on forgiveness of others by individuals, new areas of research are starting to examine the benefits of group forgiveness and self-forgiveness. For More: Read forgiveness expert Fred Luskin’s essay, “What Is Forgiveness?,” and Jack Kornfield’s thoughts on what forgiveness means. Learn more about forgiveness research in this summary of key studies and recent white paper, and consider: Is anything unforgiveable? What are the Limitations?Featured ArticlesWe often think of forgiveness as a kind, magnanimous act—an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us. While that can be true, research over the past few decades has revealed enormous personal benefits to forgiveness as well. According to that research, here are some of the most compelling ways forgiveness is good for us, our relationships, and our communities. Perhaps most famously, South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is widely credited with encouraging forgiveness and reconciliation after the end of apartheid in
that country. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the commission’s chairman, has argued that forgiveness is the path to “true enduring peace.” For More: Learn more about the benefits of forgiveness in researcher Everett Worthington’s article, “The New Science of Forgiveness,” and in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s essay,
“Forgiveness + Reconciliation.” According to Robert Enright, Fred Luskin, and other experts, forgiveness isn’t just for the deeply magnanimous among us; it’s both a choice and a trainable skill that almost anyone can learn.
Fortunately, research suggests that the capacity for forgiveness is an intrinsic part of human nature. Here are some research-based strategies for tapping into that capacity, whether you’re trying to forgive others, forgive yourself, or seek forgiveness from someone else. For more: Check out Christine Carter’s tips for teaching
forgiveness skills to children, adapted from Luskin’s nine steps. And she offers these tips for fostering forgiveness in families. Leading forgiveness researchers have also developed their own evidence-based programs to foster forgiveness, including the following.
Featured ArticlesWhich of the following is an example of practical example of the criticism of mismatch between moral thought and moral behavior?Which of the following is an example of practical example of the criticism of mismatch between moral thought and moral behavior in Kohlberg's theory? Many terrorists believe that their behavior—the killing of others—is ultimately moral in nature.
At which stage of Kohlberg's theory does a person reason that values rights and principles transcend the law?The fifth Kohlberg stage. At this stage, individuals reason that values, rights, and principles undergird or transcend the law. The sixth and highest stage in Kohlberg's theory of moral development. Individuals develop a moral standard based on universal human rights.
Which of the following did Kohlberg believe is most influential?Which of the following did Kohlberg believe is MOST influential in an individual's moral development? social convention.
Which dimension of moral development regulates social interactions and arbitrates conflict?changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors regarding standards of right and wrong. Intrapersonal dimension regulates a person's activities when she or he is not engaged in social interaction, interpersonal dimension regulates social interactions and arbitrates conflict.
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